Today hubby had a check up with the professor to make sure all was going well and hopefully get some results for the biopsy from the tumour.
My stomach was in bits before I had left the house, 
. I’m not the most confident driver but I feel I am getting better. So I was getting worked up over the drive and it was typical that it was pouring down. On top of which I was aware of the fact that we would hopefully be getting some results from the biopsy of the tumour. Are we on the road to recovery 100% or do we have another challenge to overcome.
Over the past few days hubby has come so far, he is eating loads and his energy is coming. He does get tired, but that is expected after what he has gone through over the past few weeks and some. He is trying to do more and more, but as I am the only one who can drive I can’t watch him 24 hours a day. So I cant stop him making himself a drink or getting food. I just have to be that nagging wife as I care and tell him to take it easy.
With this in mind on seeing the professor he was more then happy with rogers recovery. His out put from his ileostomy bag is good and his scar is healing well. It was so good to hear 
my hubby in very small steps is becoming like his old self.
This positivity changed in a way when he gave us the results from the biopsy, even though in the back of my mind I knew what he was going to say. Nothing can prepare you for being told that yes they have removed the tumour, but the cancer has spread to the lymph nodes. So Roger is going to need anything from 4-6 months of chemo to shift the cancer that has spread. On an upside out of 33 it had only spread to one lymph nodes. I think I was in shock when he told us, and it sort of hit when he finished talking and had left the room. Me and Roger just held each other and shed a tear. After talking to a couple of nurses, one of whom I would say has become a friend, we left the hospital trying to get our heads round the crap news we had just been told.
I don’t think it has really hit me or sunk in, even after telling the children that we still have another challenge to face as a family to get over this life changing crappy disease.
There is nothing we can do with the news we had today, but fight it. All that matters to me is getting my soul mate healthy and my four children. If chemo is the only way to get Roger better then so be it. We will get through this as a family and I just need to ensure that hubby knows he can talk to me as he is not going through this on his own. Through sickness and in health, I will always be there and we will come out stronger the other end. Xx
