How on earth do you tell your children that their dad has cancer????
There is no easy way, we try and be honest as much as possible with the children within reason. After Roger had broken the news to me and I pulled myself together. I asked him about the children and he replied about being open and they had to be told. So that’s what we did, I went straight up to get them from their rooms while Roger pulled himself together. It must have been the first time they had all done as they were told straight away.
Roger has been ill for sometime and the children were aware of this. After his test on the 9th of August I had told them that the doctors had found something so their dad was to have more tests. Followed with they must behave and stop arguing with each other and if they have any problems they need to come to me unless it is to do with computers or maths. I add to this that they did not listen and continued to be typical teenage and pre-teen kids.
When it came to breaking the news to them, I don’t think I have ever done such a heart-wrenching thing in my life. It was horrible seeing their faces, the fear, sadness and shock was heart breaking. I don’t expect it helped that I could not hold back the tears so ended up an emotional wreck while telling them and afterwards.
My children are 16yrs, 14ys, 12yrs and 8yrs, so the response could have gone anyway and it did. Those of you that know my family will know my daughter is very shy and struggles with emotions and socializing, and the boys are typical boys who would not dare to show an emotion as that’s what boys are like. (Unless you ban them from a gaming object) They just get on with things and don’t really talk if something is bothering them, so the response we got was really devastating. My eldest two children cried, and my son hid his face so he could not be seen. All my children are close to their dad, but Cameron is always team dad. So watching tears fall from his eyes as he was trying to hide his face was horrible to watch, within seconds I broke down again. Keeley my eldest does not do tears so watching her sat there sobbing over what I had just said was distressing. Having two kids with tears in their eyes, especially my eldest two is something I never thought I would see. I automatically went to my daughter, maybe as she was sobbing and as I am aware how she struggles with emotion. Cameron was not alone though as Roger went straight to him and held him tight like I did Keeley. Within seconds Kai had got up and went to give his dad a hug. Rylee then came to his sister and me; I feel Rylee is to young to understand what was going on. It came across that the younger two did not quite understand what I had said, how wrong was I. They did not show it straight away but as the days have gone on you can see in the gestures and behaviour how they have taken the news.
Telling your children at such a young age that one of their parents has cancer is something that I wish on no one. My children have been so understanding of their dads illness and now the cancer. I’m so proud of them, I could not ask for more. (Well unless you include them doing their chores)
Its all such a blur…… Cancer is a blur……
