Just over two weeks a go hubby had his reversal for his ileostomy, its fair to say that he is doing fab and his surgeon is more then pleased with how he is recovering.
It’s been a tough couple of weeks with lots of talking about pooh which I expect will continue for sometime as bowel cancer is not something that leaves you when you have been given the all clear, just like other cancers.
At the time of me starting this blog hubby is two weeks post op and is doing amazingly, if you was to see him or even walk past him in the street you would never believe that he had just had an operation to reverse an Ileostomy from bowel cancer, well that is until he runs to the loo as he needs a Pooh.
So for the past near 7 months, hubby has had no control over his bowels in to respect when he passes a motion as he has had the ileostomy. So this operation was huge as it was going to give him control over his bowel moments again, well that is the intention anyway. I say intention because hubby thanks to the cancer has a new rectum, this rectum is part of his colon so is not made to control a motion. We have been lucky with having such fab surgeons, they have always been upfront with things and never beat around the bush with things. So right from the beginning hubby was told that things would never be like pre-cancer which we sort of expected and for sometime he would be running to the toilet, this could go on for up to a year as he had to learn how to control his bowels again. It’s crazy when you really think about it, he was about to regain his large bowel and eventually control over his pooh after 7 months.
So the day after the operation it was such an amazing surprise to see him up and dressed moving around his room and munching away on food. I could not believe how well he looked and if it was not for the fact I was aware of his operation I would have said he should not be there, however he was and the focus for the day I think was for hubby to have a poo!! This would then fingers cross allow him to go home. It was great seeing his face expressions as he was eating and drinking, and then watching him move around as he felt his stomach starting to do things. Then when I got the message to say that he had had his first FART!!! Well the emotions that went through me I could never really explain, then when I told my eldest son and his face lit up with a huge grin!!!! Which made my heart melt as you could see how relieved he was that his dad was going to be after his operation. So when I got the text to say he had been for a poo ? I had the most hugest smile on my face and inside I was buzzing but this was at 4am in the morning so I did roll over and go back to sleep. My emotions soon started again though as I told the kids and I saw their faces light up with big grins and giggles, then well when I spoke to my daughter and she said dad has had a poo…. It was the first thing she saw on social media and her face lit up as she was laughing. It was funny listening and talking to her and the boys about poo as a few months ago we would never be having a conversation at 7am or at anytime about poo and certainly not about farting, It’s funny how things change, before hubby got the diagnosis of bowel cancer if one of the kids said the word poo I would tell them off for being rude and yet now we just stand there and come out with the word. Poo poo poo? !!!!!!!
So because he had had a poo he was able to come home, but he did not seem to good when I went to get him. He was happy to be going home and I was buzzing but I just did not feel the happiness from hubby 🙁 He was complaining of not feeling hungry, feeling bloated and tired, it was tough to see as he was looking amazing the day before. The journey home was not easy, I felt like I was under so much pressure to drive as careful and smoothly as possible. Every little pot hole in the road I tried to avoid which is not easy on the motorway, every bump I could not avoid turned hubbys stomach which set his bowels going, which kick started his anxiety. I did my best to keep him calm, but its not easy as he must have been really scared, a grown man unable to control his bowels after having bowel cancer while sat in the car while his wife was driving must have been tough as it was bloody hard for me watching him.
The rest of the day he spent on the sofa or the toilet it was horrible to see and really scary. He ate nothing apart from a biscuit and barely drank anything, I did snap at him later on in the evening and said he would end up back in hospital. I snapped at him as I was scared, scared and confused as he looked like crap and yet yesterday he was fine. It felt like he should have not come home as he was not well enough and to be honest it was like this for the following few days for what I can remember. Thinking back it was like his first operation, he would take so many steps forward and so many back, he would have his good days and have his bad. On bad days when he felt bloated and tired and i was tired as i was doing everything as well as being in pain with my arm and shoulder then you could more then likely guarantee words would be exchanged, we always had a cuddle after though. Yes its not forever but its hard watching him running to the toilet and being in so much discomfort as his bowels learn to work again and hubby learns his body again.
It’s coming up to 3 weeks since his operation and even though he is getting better and can leave the house in my opinion he still bites mine and the kids heads off and still spends the odd day on the sofa. His bowel movements are deffo slowing down, the first night we was up more or less all night. His poo is hardening up but to me it is looking like he is becoming constipated, he is starting to have the understanding of when he needs to go and I believe to a point he can control it. It is going to take months for things to be at an even level and we as a family in away have become restricted to the house again 🙁 Just like before we have to access the journey and see if there are toilets on route and at the destination we are heading to. Hubby is getting stronger by the day and his low days are becoming less, but sometimes the negatives are tough to get through. Seeing your soul mate in pain and discomfort resulting in him biting your head off when your doing nothing but your best is hard. Yes we both react and say things on the spare of the moment but then who doesn’t? We are only human after all, we have got this far but still have along way to go and we wont ever stop fighting.
